Conflict Coaching and Management For Today's Youth

Our children are our future. Stop and think of children over the past decades and how their roles have changed and evolved over the years. How was a child different in the 60s or 70s from a child in the 80s or 90s? Here we are today, almost 10 years into the new millennium, an era of incredible technological advancements, strong competition for achievement and obtaining material, changes in gender roles and, most importantly, changes in family dynamics. Life is constantly changing and this is expected. We are a constantly growing and constantly changing society. But with such dramatic changes in social norms and behavior over the past 30 years, can we expect to raise and teach our children as they taught us when we were little, which was predominantly in authoritarian homes? We will analyze three individual scenarios taken from a recent study of family dynamics. The three cases are families of the new millennium raised in the United States.

Three studies of family dynamic cases

Sheila is an 18-year-old teenager beginning her first college year. She has two younger brothers and lives in a middle-class home with her two parents. Sheila's father is an insurance adjuster and her mother works as a secretary. Sheila grew up and was predominantly a direct student with a limited social group of friends. From a family perspective, it seems to be a children's product from the typical middle-class family. Sheila is also a drug addict.

Mark is a 20 year old and a high school student in college. He has a younger brother and is the product of a ruined home. His mother divorced his father when he was three years old. She was the only primary provider for her family and went to school at night. Mark was an average high school student, was active in sports and had a large number of friends. He is active in local Christian youth programs and specializes in basic education.

Maria, 16, and Luis, 17, are brothers and live in the Bronx. His mother receives social assistance and his father left them when they were young children. They attend the local high school, which is patrolled for safety and covered with iron bars. Drugs and violence are widespread. Maria is a good student and finds protection in solitude while Luis has been arrested numerous times for drugs and robbery and will hardly graduate from high school.

This is just one example of the differences in children, their family dynamics, and how they handle conflicts. Of course, each child has their own story, their own stories of their failures and their successes. Every child is a product of our family values ​​and our community. We have been in the millennium for almost ten years, and as we review the past few decades, we see how society has changed and how it has affected family unity. One aspect of life that has never changed is conflict. Conflict is and always will be part of life. However, the way we handle the conflict has changed, and awareness and education about the conflict is at the forefront of this modern age.

Definite conflict

In his article Conflict ... A New Perspective, Julie Fauimano, MBA, BSN, RN, Success coach the coach, defined the conflict as "two or more people who see things from different perspectives given their education, background, education and knowledge of the subject ., faith, time of day, mood, etc. ". In short, conflict is diversity of thought. From this brief definition, we see that conflict is more than a simple disagreement, but a combination of sources ranging from our education to our mood. Most people hear the term conflict and automatically associate it with a negative behavior. Many times when someone disagrees with our position, we take it as a personal attack and leap to the defense. However, the conflict can be positive if we allow ourselves to be open to new ideas and perspectives that are different from a problem.

Hey Guess What, Motherhood Is Tough: Life Coaching Vs Psychotherapy for Struggling Moms

Any mother knows that becoming a mother is extremely challenging, especially in the beginning. However, our society idealizes motherhood as nothing short of total and effortless happiness. There are countless misconceptions, assumptions and attitudes that are quite detrimental to our mothers. "Good mothers" are those who can handle every detail in an organized and impeccable way. They maintain a perfectly clean and tidy home and support the interests and needs of all their children and place themselves on the list of priorities. Your identity, interests, social life, etc. They don't matter anymore because now she's a mother. And for that she is absolutely cheerful! Their marriage is ten times stronger since the baby arrived. These hot and diffuse moments occur, but not every minute of every day. This romantic image of motherhood is detrimental as countless mothers are compared to this impossible and unrealistic ideal and chronically feel that they are not good enough. Many people know very well the feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

Women all over the world are struggling with the transition from motherhood, and because of the above message, we feel ashamed and alone. With work experience working with new mothers as life and transition coach and as a licensed psychotherapist, I have witnessed countless women who have shared their feelings with family, friends, doctors and tell them (usually with good intentions) that they could have birth depression (PPD). This accelerated labeling can also be harmful as many women feel incredibly embarrassed, judged and inadequate. This article is intended to clarify the differences in the struggle with the transition to new motherhood and the real PPD, and provides some background on the different approaches and views that a psychotherapist may have compared to a life coach.

Postpartum depression (the real diagnosis is a major depressive episode with postpartum onset) is a serious condition that needs to be addressed by a trained mental health professional. The prevalence of PPD can be debated as the statistics vary widely. According to the American Psychiatric Association (2000), postpartum depression is not recognized as a diagnosis other than the major depressive episode (depression), but a trained professional will specify that a major depressive episode is, "with postpartum onset" only if the onset of symptoms occurs within four weeks of birth. For this reason, the criteria for PPD and "depression" are the same. PPD is a period of at least two weeks where there is a depressed mood or loss of interest or joy in almost all activities ("I don't care anymore"). In addition, at least four other symptoms should be present that include changes in appetite and / or weight, changes in sleep (insomnia or sleeping too much, not changes that will occur naturally with your baby's schedule), decreased energy, feelings of worthlessness, or guilt, difficulty concentrating and thinking or making decisions, changes in psychomotor activity (others may notice that you are moving slower or faster than usual), or recurring thoughts of death or suicide. These symptoms should persist most of the day, almost every day, for at least two consecutive weeks. In addition, they must cause distress or significant obstacles in their ability to function. The degree of disability varies from mild to severe, and careful conversation is required to make this diagnosis. In severe cases, a person may lose the ability to perform minimal personal care or personal hygiene tasks or may even experience delusions or hallucinations.

Gaining More Personal Fulfillment with Personal Coaching - FamilyVision Column

No one is interested. He feels that he is not receiving support, either from his partner or from his family, friends and certainly not from his children. You want both flight and eagles ... but your daily routine makes you feel like a kid. No one understands their need to have their own identity. Your friends laugh at your goals. Your spouse cannot understand why you want more from life. You are depressed by your life. Where can you find peace? Where do you find a defender who encourages you when things look bleak?

Too many problems

Life is full of everyday problems. If you absorb yourself too much, you miss the greatness in you. A personal adviser can work wonders! Many people do not want to ask for help, especially men. Is it a sign of weakness? Of course not. After all this is the information age! Where others refuse help for what people might say (through their social masks).

He wants people to see his true self instead of fake pictures: he lives in a house he can't afford, works in a job he hates, and participates in organizations where he doesn't like people. If you have accepted this lifestyle for yourself, what should you do when it comes to your family or need help?

An individual can set personal goals to help focus on the important things in life. Some families already set goals and measure their success. However, most of us need more help and comments to develop family goals. My wife and I regularly attend a marriage retreat every year so we can improve our relationship. This type of focus and attention represents a proactive step in building a marriage. Unfortunately, many people think that getting help from an external source is negative and unproductive.

Escape the vicious cycle

How do you free yourself from the vicious circle of pain that exists in your unhappy life? Book! Getting the right help is important to achieving personal goals. You can start with a trusted friend or have an outside person help you. When we do family seminars, we give people the opportunity to use a personal trainer to help them with these goals.

A foreign stranger does not have to play power games with family members or close friends. Don't feel guilty, or experience yourself as if you're living up to an image. Using an objective personal trainer allows families to make an honest assessment of themselves as individuals and as a family unit. Understand the guidelines for choosing a personal trainer:

Personal training

What is personal coaching? It is not to be a judge, babysitter or campaigner for matches. Coaching is not advice either. You talk to a counselor when you have a problem; However, you go to a coach when you want to reach goals or improve your skills. Many couples when seeking family counseling are there because of a problem. One partner has usually drawn the other to a session (against their best judgment). The poor counselor ends up becoming an arbitrator. Why? It will be a competition. Someone wants to be awarded the "winner"!

In the couple’s mind, there has to be a winner and a loser. In training, everyone wins as a team or loses as a team. The real reward in this process is a personal advisor who does not try to analyze it or interpret what is being said. The counselor is there to help you be the best. Some of the areas where coaching has proven to be effective include (a) achieving more balance in life, (b) ensuring more financial security, (c) building better relationships, (d) gaining power, recognition and influence, and ultimately occurrence (s) provide a more meaningful life.

You need to perform a self-assessment to determine how a personal trainer can help you. Choosing a counselor can be difficult for many people. One of the best sources for getting a counselor is through the International Coaching Federation. You want to establish a genuine relationship with your personal advisor. When choosing an advisor, here are some things to do:

Can I trust the person with my private information (and still feel comfortable)?
Can the counselor be objective and fair?
Is the counselor a good listener?
Does my family like this person?
Does this person have the necessary skills (relief, leadership, organization, etc.) and training to help my family?
The last case
Life doesn't get any easier. Having your own counselor is not the solution to all your problems. However, it will focus more on its priorities. If you have terrible family communication, a counselor will not change that fact in most cases.

Coping With Grief and Loss Through Grief Counseling and Life Coaching

Grief is a human way of dealing with the feelings of love that we believe are over. Another way of defining grief is the normal and natural reaction to a significant emotional loss of all kinds.

There is no way to cry. Since we are all individual, we all mourn differently and often approach grief groups. In addition, our society generally does not have a general way of honoring pain. Since we are a society that is always struggling with time management and high demands, it is not part of our system to take the time to cry or know how to cry. However, religion often fills this void in our society.

Every religion has rituals to follow for pain and how they suffer a loss. These rituals may give us a way to overcome the initial shock of pain, but as many people know, they have suffered a loss that when the rituals of religion end, there is still pain and the adjustment of the loss to tackle.

There are many different opinions about grief, such as "time heals all wounds" and many believe that you can share this emotional experience in five stages of grief. It is important to keep in mind that depending on the individual and their personal situation, many of these statements or "myths" about grief, or even the recommendations of some of the greatest grief books, may actually slow or prevent some people from going above and beyond. his pains

Where should you seek support for grief?

When it comes to most of the important things in our lives, seeking group or professional help can usually provide the best possible information, support and guidance. The two most common types of professional help that families seek to tackle pain and loss are pain counseling and life coaching.

How can grief counseling help?

Funeral directors wear several hats and are expected to do many important things in a short period of time while facing many funeral planning challenges. Families are troubled and must make important decisions under a lot of pressure. They can often expect some emotional support that some funeral directors may not have the time or skills to provide.

Through grief counseling and working with a Life Coach, these extra levels of emotional support and experience can often help families reconcile and offer the help most families are looking for.

Five powerful ways a life coach can help families:

1. Provide the necessary support to overcome this painful moment.

2. Help families develop a short-term plan "what follows" for their lives.

3. Help families set new or revised long-term goals in relation to work, school, relationships, hobbies and general well-being.

4. Give families hope, motivation and direction to take control of their lives in the new role they inherited as a result of their loss.

5. Some families can turn around and listen as what is often needed in a moment of sadness and confusion is simply listening.

Grief counseling is one of the fastest growing trends in self-improvement, well-being and life in general. By offering this level of grief support and Life Coaching services; It maintains its relevant business and achieves its potential to better serve its families.

Coaching is not therapy or counseling. A therapist would be recommended if your client is particularly overwhelmed and unable to cope with their pain. Another popular and healing option is to consider the use of grieving message panels, which is where people who have experienced similar losses meet online to talk in real time over the Internet.

What is a Duel Recovery Expansion Program?

If you have experienced one or more losses and want to go beyond pain, this type of program offers step-by-step actions to help you overcome your pain. It is the only program of its kind and has helped thousands of people around the world recover from their agony. Learn more now about a duel recovery extension program that we recommend.

Transforming the Parent-Teen Relationship Through Coaching

"Help my teenager self-destruct!" It was the cry of the telephone line of an exasperated father.

This is a common cry for help that I receive in my coaching business. I specialize in training parents to find and develop their true potential as parents and help their teenagers build a life of trust, courage and compassion. I train teenagers to discover their passion and potential in life.

The parents' perception of their teenage son's problems covers the whole spectrum from: "Help, my teenage son is driving me crazy"; "How do I make them more responsible?"; "Why don't they talk to me anymore?"; "How can I say 'no' without feeling guilty?"; "How do I discipline my teenager without yelling at him?" in desperate screams like: "My teenager is self-destructing!" My response to the parents was: "Instead of forcing the change to your child, let's apply some training on his problems with his teenage son. Let's learn some training skills to become the father as a coach."

The father as a trainer model

The Parents as Trainers model helps us as adults to examine our own core beliefs, allowing us to respect the growing beliefs of our "emerging adults." Instead of teaching how to manage and control adolescents, being the father as a coach helps us appreciate the unique perspective of our adolescents and express respect, understanding and support for who they are at the moment. A coach mentoring does not dictate how to grow. A parent coach will guide young people towards their own solutions, inherent gifts, and show them the way to a meaningful and determined life.

A case study

When, continuing with the case history, both parents undertook a joint ten-session training program with me, we began with them determining the desired results for the 3-month period. His main concern was that his 15-year-old teenager, who had been expelled from two schools and now smoked marijuana almost daily, was on a path of self-destruction. After some explanation and application of the theory of choice, they realized that, no matter how hard they tried, they could not control their teenage son. His controlling behavior had created fronts and moved the child further. Every week we work so that parents understand who they are and how they show themselves in the world, particularly in the eyes of their teenage son. This newly found knowledge helped them see their teenager's point of view. We work with a model "The seven ways to train your teenage son" developed by the Academy for the training of family trainers.

With the application of this model and being trained around their new behaviors, parents were able to respect their child for their qualities, really listen to their point of view, understand that it was not just their behavior, appreciate their differences and give up. rescue him Instead, they learned to show support and began to help him develop his level of responsibility, striving for his independence.

The results

One of their greatest advances came after only three weeks, when they began using their new listening technique. The teenager had refused to come to the table and was not open to any conversation. When he spoke, he argued. That night: with new improved listening skills, the parents had a one-hour conversation, which the mother had said, had not happened in a couple of years! During that conversation, parents spent more time listening than talking, did not give advice or try to fix or solve anything that happened to the teenager. In that conversation, the boy developed the idea that he could abandon some of his bad habits and seek to end the year 10 in TAFE. The parents offered to support him. The result later: completed year 10.

With the continuous training and support for these parents who use "The seven ways to train their teenage son", their relationship with their teenage son was transformed over time. His son is now a chef's apprentice and is no longer on the path of self-destruction.

How to Decide Which Type of Life Coach Is For You The Easy Way

The coaching business is as diverse as coaches. We all carry with us the experiences and lessons in life, training, education, personality and values ​​that we have in our approach to helping others through the coaching process.

This is a good thing, because when you choose a doctor, mechanic or friend, you can find someone who speaks your language and understands it. I would definitely recommend you check several trainers before choosing one to make sure you find a good fit.

It may be easier to ask yourself some questions to decide which type of coach would be the best place to start.

Am I looking for a new career?
Want to find out how to get the skills I lack for the next promotion?
If your answer to one of these questions is YES, you may be looking for a CAREER coach.

I'm trying to figure out where I fit in, what's my purpose?
Do I feel like something is missing in my life?
A YES to any of these questions could mean that a spiritual coach would be the best.

Do I feel frustrated with the politics / people I work with?
Am I a new manager / supervisor that I need to add to my skill set to be successful?
You can work better with a business coach.

How can I improve my health?
What steps should I take if I want to feel better physically?
This is the perfect job for a good HEALTH / WELFARE coach.

Do I get stuck in a relationship and don't know how to change it?
Do I want more friends?
You may want to work with a relationship coach.

Have I lost my mouse?
Do I need to figure out how to put my creative talents into practice?
This requires a great creative coach.

Remember, these are some of the most popular types of coach specialties. There are several: successful educators, small business educators, women educators, family educators, financial educators, organizational educators, etc.

Many LIFE coaches have two or more areas of expertise, that is, financial and successful coaching, and as such could be applied to your search, in addition to those called "Financial Coaches" or the type you are looking for.

When you start looking for the right entrepreneur coaching for you and your needs, you will find some resources where you will find coaches' summaries and recommendations for your questions. Try the International Coach Federation for lists of registered and certified trainers. Coaches are not required to have certification, and in fact have many other types of certification: masters and doctorates, licensing for consulting, health, finance, unions, etc. However, this is a great list to look at.

There are other sites that maintain coach databases, which are usually divided into two general groups: commercial and personal trainer. By reading the description of the individual teachers, you will discover the areas of specialization that each one has to offer. Look for more options if needed.

How To Choose a Career and Life Coach

A quick search for life coaches in your city can reveal many possibilities. How do you choose the life coach that is best for you?

There are life coaching professionals who adapt to specific demographic data, such as teenage life coaches, family coaches, career coaches, wellness coaches or coaches that specifically cover another area. There are also generalists who know well in several different fields.

The most important thing is that your life coach advises and motivates you. There are different styles and training methods. You can take some phone calls or a meeting to determine which exercise style is right for you. A life coach offering a personal coaching service is preferred because life coaching is not a unique solution for everyone.

You want a coach to motivate you and who you can relate to. While you want someone with a lot of energy, you want a realistic one. A life coach with extensive business skills and life skills is important. It is also important that someone in your corner works with you and for you who understand the challenges of life.

When deciding to choose a life coach or a professional mentor, make sure you understand what services they provide as part of your package. You will know how quickly you can expect a callback if you need them. You will understand your billing policies and procedures. You will know what tools and resources are available if you need help.

Do you know what you want in life? Whether it is financial security, motivation to get up and go every day, a great family life, or a sense of peace and quiet, you can arrive earlier if you have a good coach in your corner.

When you find the right fit, you can find a world of open possibilities because your mentor will make the most of you. You are the one with the key to unleashing your own potential, but the right coach or mentor can help you find that power within yourself.